My PhD story : Part I

Saya ada cita-cita.... cita-cita saya utk mengeluarkan buku mengumpul cerita-ceriti phD-phD student yg telah menamatkan study masing2...sama ada di akhirnya mrk berjaya atau pun tidak...

Kenapa? Sebagai pengajaran dan hikmah buat mereka di luar sana yg inshaAllah akan buat PhD, ataupun mrk yg ada insan yg terdekat yg akan buat PhD...pada dasarnya maybe hanya 10-15% sahaja drp the whole population yg akan buat PhD....tak ramai, jadi nature of PhD ni tak diketahui ramai sgt org...

Saya bertuah krn ayah saya buat PhD juga...jadi saya tahu la lebih kurang bagaimana naturenya...cumanya, biasala anak remaja time tu, kalau ayah yg bgtahu, ala2 tak caye gitu, huhu...tapi because of his experience, he can advise me accordingly...bagaimana pula yg mrk2 yg takde org terdekat yg pernah buat PhD? I don't think they have a clue what PhD requires out of them...so, perhaps one day, a book of this type will be able to help and guide them, or at least share our experiences with them....

Panjang jugak nak cerita ni...al maklum, a history of 5 years of my life....and interestingly, semua cerita PhD masing2 adalah unik...so, we actually we can learn from each other, inshaAllah...

Mana nak mula ek?

1) Pre- PhD story

My quest of PhD scholarship started after i resigned from a cyberjaya company as an IC designer. The company was a private company, small but yet very busy. I started to realise that I cannot keep living my life like that. Balik lambat, balik pun dah stress sgt, makan pun lebih kurang...esok the same, stress dan berlambak kerja....weekend pula masih duk fikir problem2 yg tak leh solve masa kat tempat kerja....hidup jadi sangat penat....nak pergi usrah pun rasa betapa terbebannya...tu masa masih single! Takleh bayangkan kalau dah ada famili...saya sanggup gaji tak setinggi kerja di situ for a quality of life...life that is worth living for!

Di takdirkan time tu saya ada kawan yg baru habis PhD...Kak Miza...she was an engineer before then quit and started her pHD and and worked as a lecturer in one the university in Malaysia... I remember once I asked her...do you love what you are doing now? (ie. lecturing)...and she replied unhesitatingly " THE BEST JOB EVER!"... and after that I too wanted the best job ever tu jugak...hehehe...so i surveyed and applied work as a tutor in UNITEN, and the purpose was solely to get a scholarship to do PhD (direct, without masters)....mind you, zaman tu, 2002 takde org lagi wat PhD direct ni...seme biasanya wat masters pastu phD...jadi kalau nak wat cam tu, kene fight gak la, sbb nak convince kan org2 atas....

well, to cut the story short...I was accepted into Uniten and they promised me in the interview that I will be able to do the PhD direct in UK...lepas kerja dalam 4 bulan, they called me and told me that TNB now having money crisis and not able to sponsor me...they can only sponsor me to do twinning PhD....of course this is not why i applied there, so, i decided to give my resignation letter and started to search for other universities which can give me what I want...

UIA or UPM?

I actually applied for two universities, UPM and UIA...UPM because my father told me it will be a good one coz it is near to our house in Seri Kembangan and it is an established univ....UIA because I love the idea of teaching majority muslim students...unlike Uniten, majority of the students are non-muslims...and I had experiences that crushed my heart and hope for the students...I do teach whole heartedly, and I do not want my spirit, energy, enthusiasm went to waste...so UIA suits this criteria very much...

I was accepted in both universities...(oh yes, for undergrad students, getting a first class honours really does help you in applying for work in academia)...the dean of the engineering faculty of UPM, even spares some time to have a chat with me...however, as the stories goes, i ended up in UIA...the interview and the university really do impress me, the mission and vision of UIA...all hits the right keys...and of course they have also promised my PhD quest...

Why do a PhD?

This is a must question for anybody wanting to pursue a PhD...and the niyyah may actually change over the years of doing the PhD...however the initial intention is important...like most tutors in universities, in order to be a lecturer we need a PhD, a doctorate...so do I...Plus actually at that time, I wanted to be like my father...i want to have a PhD just like my ayah...and i was really determined and seperti ramai org2 muda, always positive thinking! hehe...

Selepas masuk beberapa bulan kerja...UIA told me that now the country is having a recession, and the economy is too bad to sponsor many students to UK...For that year, 2004, KPT only offered 4 places for staff to study in UK (yes, for all faculties in UIA, all have to compete for that4 places)...and.the rest have to go to other cheaper countries...(masa tu, exchange rate in UK started to rise to 7!)....Of course, I was thoroughly devastated hearing the news plus marah gak la...because they had promised me!!

However, being stubborn as I am, I determined to be one of the four chosen staff ...at that time I already contacted a few universities in UK...and the fastest response was...guess who? hehehe...well my current supervisor, Prof. John David....I told him that I am having this problem now on the scholarship and he said he will help me as much as possible to secure the scholarship. I personally have a meeting with the dean of engineering at that time and told him, i really want to do this PhD...and i would like his support. Of course tak mudah la sesi tu huhu, sampai merah2 muka dean tu masa tu, hehe, but I was really determined...and in the end he asked me to collect the statistics of Univ. Of sheffield and write a small report of the credibility of the university and the group I am applying for. Of course, I didn't do this myself...john helped me all the way...my dean then were convinced and he said he will backed me up in the senate nye meeting...

To cut story short again.... alhamdulillah, Allah blessed me with the good news....i was chosen to go to UK for that year! Huh, panjang story nak ke boleh wat PhD ni...panjang lagi story masa wat PhD, hehe....then I realised, whatever it is I have to get a PhD as i was trusted by UIA to choose me amongst berpuluh2 staff yg apply tahun tu...it is surely an amanah...

Ok lah sambung lain masa nanti...to come...why do optoelectronics?